| 'So careless! Kids these days have no respect for anything,’ he barked. At forty years of age, Steve liked to think that he was old enough to demand respect from everyone. At the same time, however, he never thought to give Mr Griffs the same consideration. |
One of Steve’s famous lines in Never Assume – the first story in The Absurd Tales of Mr Griffs series. In this scene, Sophia, a free-spirited 11-year-old newspaper girl, angers Steve when she lobs his newspaper onto his soggy grass. This aggravates Steve to no end as it means he has to stray off from his clean stone pathway and get his cashmere socks dirty.
In contrast, Mr Griffs is on good terms with Sophia, as he admires her attitude and how she never shies away from telling Steve off. Mr Griffs is also very friendly with her grandmother, Nancy, who is known as the best jam-maker in Cornville.
Nancy and Sophia have long harboured resentment towards Steve. To find out exactly where all this hostility stems from – stay tuned for the upcoming release of Never Assume: Uncut. Never Assume: Uncut includes many other bonus materials, backstories and exclusive interviews with your favourite characters.
Mr Griffs often gets confused between wafers and waffles. He never orders them at cafés as he’s worried that he’ll get the wrong one. But he has a solution for this. Mr Griffs suggests that when you order either a wafer or a waffle at a café, they should come together as one package. Simple.
Mrs Griffs is one of the main characters in The Absurd Tales of Mr Griffs series, and she certainly holds her own. She is never afraid to tell her husband off (whether he listens is another thing all together 😉). She lives an active lifestyle – enjoying things like roller derby. Mrs Griffs is a bit clumsy, but nevertheless enjoys a good dance and loves to let her hair down. She has a no-fuss approach to life and she, like Mr Griffs, loves having Ruby and Lucy (their young neighbours) over. Though it is a constant battle to ensure that Mr Griffs doesn’t corrupt them with his many wild schemes.
We sat down with Mr Griffs and spoke to him about his previous camping experience. Knowing that Mr Griffs has always loved the outdoors and that he in fact lived on a farm when he was younger, we certainly didn't expect his reply.
‘I’m all for camping, but I’m not a fan of tents. They always tell you that the tent will fit three people, but you’d be luck to squeeze in two. And at night time you can’t move. You can’t turn around. You have to sleep like a mummy. I tell you what, you’re better off not taking one.’
So we asked Mr Griffs, what if it was raining or snowing? Surely you'd have to take a tent with you?
‘Nowadays, they have these things called huts,' Mr Griffs said. 'Much more comfortable. But if you’d hard pressed, get a sturdy stick and your most loose t-shirt and pitch it like a tent. Why do you think I wear baggy clothes all the time?’
We had no idea whether Mr Griffs was being serious or not (a confusion shared by many) – so best not to try this at home.
All Things Griffs
Mr Griffs leads a peaceful life. Or so he claims to. He lives on a quiet street, Pickle Mouse Crescent, in the idyllic town of Cornville. Yet for some reason, Mr Griffs always manages to find trouble. Or does trouble find him?